Reclaim Your Peace With This Guide to Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a concept that sounds like a breath of fresh air, but when it is time to put that concept into practice, hesitation invades, which makes the quest for peace a little more complicated and uncomfortable.
In her debut book “Setting Limits, Finding Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, Nedra Glover Tawwab, Relationship Expert and Founder of Kaleidoscope Counseling, interweaves personal and professional narratives and draws on research to discover what boundaries really are and how standing up for yourself leads to peace in your daily life.
Ariel Perry Photography
“When I talk about boundaries, I am talking about what defines your relationship. What makes you feel safe and comfortable? and what are the parameters for your particular relationship? “Says Tawwab.” In my practice I noticed these patterns of our inability to ask about what we wanted in a relationship – whether it was partnership, family, friendships, or work – and many people showed themselves to be burned out, overwhelmed, depressed and angry because of a lack of boundaries. ”
Tawwab points out that saying no is just a small fragment of curating healthy boundaries, and that the art of self-advocacy and setting the tone for your peace involves more. “It’s also about asking what you want, implementing consequences, saying things that make you feel better about yourself, and not overloading your schedule,” she says.
And through that feeling of guilt and the emotional tug-of-war that comes with the boundary-setting process, Tawwab shares that this is an indication that you are interested and compassionate about the situation.
“There are no guilt-free limits. If you are setting a limit and you feel really bad about it, it helps to learn some techniques for dealing with guilt, ”she says. “If this is how you feel, how can you make sure you are doing the right thing? How do you lean more into your self-care practices? ”
Listen: Nedra Glover Tawwab talks about the steps you can take to build healthy relationships with yourself and others.
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